Not sure what I was expecting, but had a huge anxiety attack. There where soooo many people there, it was terrifying. Maybe church and social anxiety don't mix. I talked to some greeters there who where really nice, and one even set a folding chair up by one of the doors for me, which I really appreciated. Sitting in the pews I kinda felt trapped. After the service, which was nice but kind of loud during the hymns, I was ushered into the guest services area. The couple there, who's job is to answer any basic questions, suggested I come to the earlier service or skip service altogether and attend the Sunday school. Apparently you can watch the service online as well as get a DVD.
I took Little Man with me, just so he could get some play time with kids his age, and boy did he. The church is huge! They have a nursery for various age groups. He was in a room full of about 10-15 other 2yr olds. When I picked him up the attendants said he was the most popular kid there, playing with everyone and even going up to the shy ones and getting them to be involved in the group activities. He was really angry that we had to leave and shocked the attendants with his fit, lol. They said he was so well behaved they didn't think he could throw a fit like that. I laughed and said "well, he is perfectly 2". Being a guest, they gave him a baggy with a small stuffed monkey and a CD of children's music. That was nice.
While I did like attending, despite the anxiety, I'm not sure I really took anything away from the experience. What I thought I'd gain from going is a real mystery to me. I think I'll go back 2 or 3 more times to either the early service or the Sunday school. All I want is to get a better understanding of xians, but I'm not sure now that this is the best route. Only the future will tell I guess.
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The adventure begins, kinda
I've been an atheist for some years now. Well, many, many years actually. I like to consider myself open minded in some things. Definitely not all, there are some things it's good to be close minded about. Lately though, I've been wondering if I've closed myself off to the possibility of a deity or deities. Being who I am, I can't leave that alone.
So, where do I start. The best place for me to start any research is to go with the familiar and work my way out from there. Growing up I was raised in xian and spiritual households. My mother being a minister, I think I got to see all the ugly that goes into running a church. There where good times, but I also got to sit in and hear some pretty petty things I'm sure the leaders of the church would rather their fellow congregants not know about. I'd be lying if I said that didn't bias me, but I had already come to the conclusion that a god didn't make sense before any of that.
That leaves me with where to begin, still. Well, xian of course and deism-which is the only way to describe my father's beliefs though it isn't the most accurate. While religion is an interesting topic, it's not my first pick of things to study in my spare time. There's just this nagging feeling that I haven't explored religion to it's full potential, and I can't live with nagging-from myself or others. To negate that I've been reading bibles, various versions. I've been reading books about deism. However, both are bit of a snooze fest. No offense intended, they just aren't my cup of tea-especially when I've got 2 brand new Terry Pratchet books calling to me from the bookshelf, lol.
My conclusion is, I need guidance. I've set out to find a church. My goal is simply to have a better understanding of xians, deists, their beliefs and thought processes. It's just, how do you find the right church for something like this. The hubs and I tried the local UU, but never felt comfortable there. Not because they where unwelcoming, we're just not that social. Home is where are hearts are, and our minds when we aren't there. Homebodies isn't really strong enough. However, I'm willing to set my discomfort aside and expand my mind. Worst case scenario is I learn something new, maybe even make some new friends. If you have any advice for what to look for in a church or religious establishment, please share it with me.
So, where do I start. The best place for me to start any research is to go with the familiar and work my way out from there. Growing up I was raised in xian and spiritual households. My mother being a minister, I think I got to see all the ugly that goes into running a church. There where good times, but I also got to sit in and hear some pretty petty things I'm sure the leaders of the church would rather their fellow congregants not know about. I'd be lying if I said that didn't bias me, but I had already come to the conclusion that a god didn't make sense before any of that.
That leaves me with where to begin, still. Well, xian of course and deism-which is the only way to describe my father's beliefs though it isn't the most accurate. While religion is an interesting topic, it's not my first pick of things to study in my spare time. There's just this nagging feeling that I haven't explored religion to it's full potential, and I can't live with nagging-from myself or others. To negate that I've been reading bibles, various versions. I've been reading books about deism. However, both are bit of a snooze fest. No offense intended, they just aren't my cup of tea-especially when I've got 2 brand new Terry Pratchet books calling to me from the bookshelf, lol.
My conclusion is, I need guidance. I've set out to find a church. My goal is simply to have a better understanding of xians, deists, their beliefs and thought processes. It's just, how do you find the right church for something like this. The hubs and I tried the local UU, but never felt comfortable there. Not because they where unwelcoming, we're just not that social. Home is where are hearts are, and our minds when we aren't there. Homebodies isn't really strong enough. However, I'm willing to set my discomfort aside and expand my mind. Worst case scenario is I learn something new, maybe even make some new friends. If you have any advice for what to look for in a church or religious establishment, please share it with me.
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