New job

So, yeah I got a second job. We really need the money, but man it is a bad fit. The worst part is I'm apparently good at it.

This past November I completed a nurse aid course and then stupidly passed the state test. Now I work at Burger King half the day and as a Home Health Aid (HHA/HNA) the other half. I like BK much better. It's more stressful because everyone is a decade or two younger than me, even my boss. My age seems to make everyone defer to me on matters that aren't my job, like I'm the freakin' BK house mom. Very annoying. I still like it better.

Being an HHA isn't hard or stressful, I just don't like it. My clients are mostly nice people, easy going who just happen to need their brief or colostomy bag changed, help with bathing, etc. Not the prettiest thing in the world, but not difficult. I spend more time cleaning house and preparing meals in all honesty. Every client I've seen, except one, has asked that I come regularly. I just don't like the job. I don't know if it's the hours or driving or what, but it's a bad fit. It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm more stressed out at BK, exhausted after a few hours there-physically and mentally, but happier after a shift. With the HHA, it's not hard or unpleasant, but my anxiety is through the roof hours after my shift is over.

I keep telling myself, give it time you'll adjust. My plan is to give it a year, surely things will feel more in sync after a year. I can't even tell you how depressed it makes me to think of being a HHA for a whole year. Half that sounds like a death sentence in my head. I wish I could explain why this new job is not right for me, but I just don't know. If we didn't need the money, I'd quit today. It doesn't make any sense. I should like HHA much better than working fast food. Why am dreading seeing clients today who are the nicest people like I'm headed to my own execution!